One of the most common things I see is intended parents jumping straight into researching countries before they’ve taken a step back to understand their own priorities. The reality is, each destination comes with its own legal framework, donor and surrogacy rules, costs, and levels of support. If you’re not clear on what matters most to you, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or be led in the wrong direction.
These six questions can help bring some structure to your thinking before you start comparing programs.
1. How much legal certainty do I need?
Legal frameworks vary widely, but for international parents it’s essential to choose destinations with clear, reliable parentage processes. Some countries offer well-established, court-backed pathways that protect both the intended parents and the surrogate. Also, check eligibility rules carefully. Some countries are very specific about who can pursue surrogacy, including marital status, sexual orientation, or citizenship requirements. Ruling out destinations that don’t allow your circumstances early saves time and prevents unnecessary stress.
Tip: Prioritise destinations with predictable, transparent legal steps. Make sure you have access to experienced legal guidance to fully understand requirements and ensure your parental rights are protected from the outset. Legal clarity is what gives families confidence and peace of mind throughout the journey.
Related Reading: Donor and Surrogacy Laws by Country
2. What donor options genuinely matter to me?
Destinations differ not only in the number of donors available but also in how donors are screened, matched, and disclosed. For some people, a diverse donor pool or specific characteristics are essential. For others, the priority is knowing their donor is well screened and medically sound. Understanding your non-negotiables early will save you time and heartache.
Tip: List your non-negotiables in a donor match. This might include genetic background, medical history, identity release, or physical characteristics. Once you see your priorities clearly on paper, you will find it easier to narrow down destinations that can meet them. If a destination’s local donor pool seems limited, don’t rule it out immediately. Some programs can arrange travelling donors or other options that expand your choices.
Webinar: Comparing Donor Programs
3. How will the surrogate be sourced
Finding the right surrogate is one of the most important steps in any surrogacy journey. It is essential that surrogates are professionally screened, with thorough medical checks, psychological assessment, and clear expectations for both parties. Some destinations face cultural, legal, or political restrictions that limit the number of available surrogates, which can affect timelines and accessibility. In certain countries, travelling surrogates are allowed, but these arrangements carry additional medical, legal, and logistical risks and should be approached with caution. Destinations or programs that cannot provide a reliable, well-regulated sourcing process should be ruled out.
Tip: If a predictable timeline is important to you, prioritise destinations and programs with sufficient, professionally screened surrogates to meet demand. Avoid programs where surrogates are scarce or regulations make access uncertain, as delays can have a significant impact on your journey.
4. Do I prefer a structured financial model or flexibility?
Programs around the world are priced and packaged in very different ways. Some provide fixed fees that offer predictability. Others use a pay as you go model, which can suit certain families but introduces more variables. Be honest with yourself about how comfortable you are with unexpected costs and what level of financial visibility you need.
Tip: Prioritise programs with transparent, predictable fee structures. Knowing exactly what is included and how payments work helps reduce stress and allows you to plan with confidence.
5. How much support will I want as the journey unfolds?
Even the smoothest journeys involve decisions, paperwork, and moments where clear guidance makes a world of difference. Some destinations have organisations that can offer very coordinated, hands-on processes. For families who want reassurance at every step particularly those navigating multiple time zones or unfamiliar legal systems, services that provide dedicated, ongoing support can be a lifeline. Many parents tell me that having a single point of contact who understands the journey end to end made all the difference.
Tip: Consider how much you can realistically manage yourself and where you would benefit from expert help. If you know you want consistent, steady support, choose a destination that offers that level of coordination or work with a team that can provide it. Growing Families offers concierge services for this reason, giving intended parents a central point of contact from the first step to the final documents.
6. What travel and lifestyle realities can I manage?
Some destinations require much longer stays after birth. Others may involve multiple trips. Consider your work commitments, budget, and personal comfort with long distance travel. Being realistic about these expectations can help you avoid surprises later on.
Tip: Think through your practical limitations: how long you can be away from work, your comfort with long-haul travel, and the time you can realistically spend overseas with a newborn. That said, don’t rule out a destination just because it seems far. Investigate whether professional support, such as concierge services, can help manage logistics, documentation, and coordination, making the journey more feasible and less stressful.
Choosing a surrogacy destination is a big decision, but breaking it down into clear questions can make the process much more manageable. When you focus on destinations and programs that are transparent, well regulated, and aligned with your circumstances, you set yourself up for a smoother, safer, and more predictable journey.
For those considering the United States, or simply wanting a clearer understanding of how legal, agency, and cost structures work in practice, our upcoming webinar offers expert insights and real parent perspectives. It’s a practical next step for anyone ready to move from uncertainty to confident planning.
