Dream Builders are the people who refuse to give up, even when the road ahead feels uncertain. They’re the ones who take heartbreak, fear, and endless waiting and somehow turn it into hope. They keep going, not just for themselves, but for the families they dream of creating.
Monika Welzenbach, one of Growing Families’ clients from New Zealand, is one of those people. Her journey has been filled with highs, lows, and moments that tested her strength. But through it all, she’s become a beacon of courage, connection, and quiet determination for others walking a similar path.
From Years of Waiting to a New Beginning
Originally from Germany and now living in Auckland, Monika and her husband spent more than seven years on a long and emotional fertility journey. There were treatments, losses, and moments when it felt like the dream of having a child might never happen.
“Only one of our embryos stuck, but it also ended in a miscarriage. We’d been through three losses,” Monika recalls. “I just wanted something as close to a guaranteed outcome as possible.”
That’s what led them to surrogacy. After years of trying to carry on her own, Monika began to explore international options and eventually started her journey in Georgia, supported by the Growing Families team.
But the decision was also driven by logistical factors. “We had huge difficulties shipping embryos from New Zealand, and even from Australia later on,” she explains. “It was a nightmare of paperwork and restrictions. Without Growing Families helping us navigate that, we would never have gotten anywhere.”
Looking back, she says she wishes she’d taken that step sooner. “I would have started the surrogacy journey a lot earlier,” she admits. “Not waiting seven years of infertility before taking that step.”
The Match That Changed Everything
When Monika and her husband joined their program in Georgia, they were told matching with a surrogate could take several months. Instead, it happened in a week.
“One morning, I woke up to a message: You’ve been matched. It took me by surprise because we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly,” she says. “It was overwhelming at first. I needed time to process.”
After years of setbacks, that text message marked a turning point, but also a test of trust. “When you’ve had so many disappointments, it’s really hard to just go with the flow,” she admits. “That’s hard.”
Because of local laws, Monika and her husband were required to work with a Georgian surrogate. Although she’d initially hoped for a travelling surrogate who lived near the clinic, she found comfort in how closely her coordinator monitored everything. “It was terrifying at first, but then I realised, they know exactly what they’re doing,” she says.
Navigating Setbacks with Strength
Like many on this path, Monika’s journey wasn’t without heartache. Her first donor cycle in Georgia produced 18 mature eggs but not a single embryo.
“That was such a shock. I’ve had eight egg collections myself and never had zero embryos,” she says. “You think when you pick a donor, everything will work. But sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s really tough.”
What made it even more emotional was the connection she’d formed with that donor. “We actually met her in person,” Monika recalls. “She was from Russia and didn’t speak English, so we had translators in the room, but she came straight up to us with this big smile. She was so open and warm, and it made it all feel real.”
Losing that connection was devastating, but Monika didn’t stop. “We picked a new donor who had a strong record of successful cycles. She doesn’t look like me, but that didn’t matter anymore. This time, I just wanted it to work.”
The Power of Support
Behind every Dream Builder is a community that helps carry the load. For Monika, Growing Families, and Anita in particular, have been that constant source of guidance and reassurance.
“Having Growing Families walking alongside us has been incredibly helpful,” she says. “Anita’s support has been amazing. She even collected some of our paperwork in Australia so we didn’t have to fly over. I don’t think I could do this without them.”
Anita’s involvement went far beyond logistics. She joined their WhatsApp groups with lawyers and clinics in Georgia, keeping an eye on every message and document to make sure nothing slipped through the cracks. “It’s really important to have someone in the background who you trust and who’s across everything,” Monika says. “That reassurance is everything.”
And sometimes, comfort came from unexpected places. “We saw our notary here in New Zealand so often that we became friends,” Monika laughs. “He still texts us sometimes to ask how things are going. It’s funny how many people end up being part of your story.”
Finding Calm Amid Uncertainty
After so many hurdles, Monika says she’s learned to find calm even when things don’t go to plan.
Just recently, a planned embryo transfer had to be postponed because her surrogate’s lining wasn’t ready. “The old me would’ve been crushed,” she says. “But I actually felt relieved. It showed the clinic was careful and doing the right thing. I’ve learned to trust that process.”
Her ability to adapt, pause, reassess, and keep faith has become one of her greatest strengths. “You go from having every wall in front of you to slowly breaking them down,” she says. “And then suddenly, everything starts falling into place.”
Turning Pain into Purpose
As her journey continued, Monika began connecting with other intended parents in New Zealand and realised how limited support was for those pursuing surrogacy overseas. So, she decided to change that.
“There’s next to no support here, so I started a small group,” she says. “We meet for coffee, share questions, and help each other through our journeys. It’s just five of us, but it means a lot.”
She’s also joined the board of Surrogacy Australia to contribute to broader conversations about how intended parents are supported and hopes to one day replicate that kind of network back home. “Maybe one day, we can build something similar here. There’s such a need for it.”
Monika even welcomes new intended parents to join her Auckland group. “If you’re in New Zealand and on this journey, reach out,” she says. “We’d love to meet you.”
Why Her Story Matters
Monika’s story embodies what it means to be a Dream Builder. Her path has been anything but easy, yet she’s faced each setback with courage for herself and for others. She’s built community, trust, and hope.
Her story reminds us that every challenge can lead to something extraordinary, and that none of us are truly alone in the process of building dreams.
