When you’re starting to explore surrogacy, it’s natural for a hundred questions to swirl in your mind.
Who will carry my baby?
Will they care for them the way I hope?
What kind of person chooses to do this?
Behind each of those questions is something deeper: The hope that the person who carries your child will not only be healthy and responsible, but will also treat this journey with the same care and love you would.
The truth? Most surrogates feel exactly the same way.
The Women Behind the Role
Surrogates are people with big hearts. Most are already mothers, which means they know what it feels like to bring life into the world and they want to share that gift with someone who can’t do it themselves.
They don’t step into this role lightly. The process is long and the emotional commitment is huge. Surrogates understand this. They prepare for it. And they want to be the reason someone else gets to hear the words, “You’re going to be a parent.”
A Study Worth Noticing
While every surrogate’s story is unique, a recent study in the US offers a reassuring snapshot. Researchers spoke with more than 200 surrogates across different states and found that:
- Most had post-high school education, many with university degrees.
- The vast majority were employed before and during their surrogacy.
- Over two-thirds earned more than the average income in their state.
- Nearly 9 in 10 said their main motivation was simply to help others.
In other words, these aren’t women driven by desperation. They’re women making a conscious, empowered choice to help someone else become a parent.
How This Helps Intended Parents
Knowing that most surrogates are financially stable and primarily motivated by empathy can help you take a breath and trust the process a little more.
That said, it’s still important to find the right match. Here are a few tips:
- Choose an experienced agency that screens surrogates for health, stability, and readiness.
- Invest in getting to know your surrogate a shared understanding of values, boundaries, and hopes will strengthen your relationship.
- Be open in your communication — small gestures of appreciation go a long way in building trust.
A Global Perspective
While studies in the US highlight surrogates’ empathy and conscious choice, global perspectives vary. Recently, the UN’s Special Rapporteur on the Sale and Sexual Exploitation of Children released a report raising concerns about potential exploitation in surrogacy arrangements worldwide. The report calls attention to contexts where surrogacy could be driven by economic necessity rather than empowerment, highlighting the importance of ethical oversight and careful screening.
For intended parents, this reinforces a key point: choosing experienced agencies and thoroughly understanding the legal, medical, and ethical frameworks of the country where your surrogacy takes place is crucial. It’s about finding a process that protects and respects everyone involved (including the surrogate) while helping you safely grow your family.
That’s why Growing Families has introduced a careful verification process (view how we verify providers here). This initiative helps intended parents:
- Connect with reputable agencies and clinics
- Access surrogates who are carefully screened for health, stability, and motivation
- Understand local legal and ethical frameworks
- Reduce the risk of hidden costs or unfair arrangements
The Shared Goal
At its heart, surrogacy is about people helping people. It’s about two lives coming together for the same reason: to bring a child into the world who is deeply wanted and loved from the very beginning.
That shared dream can only flourish when everyone is cared for. As intended parents, you can play an active role by:
- Asking your agency how they support and care for surrogates medically, emotionally, and financially.
- Seeking transparency around compensation, screening, and wellbeing safeguards.
- Choosing providers who prioritise respect and ethical practices over shortcuts or cost savings.
By taking these steps, you’re not only protecting your surrogate but also building the foundation for a trusting, respectful partnership.
When everyone’s wellbeing is valued, surrogacy becomes more than a process. It becomes a collaboration rooted in empathy, respect, and love.
