For many intended parents, surrogacy in the United States offers a clear legal framework, a pool of experienced professionals, and high standards of care. But despite the appeal, the journey can quickly become overwhelming — and costly — if common pitfalls aren’t avoided. At Growing Families, we’ve guided hundreds of intended parents through US surrogacy, and we’ve seen first-hand the avoidable missteps that can derail even the most hopeful beginnings.
Here are the top three mistakes intended parents make when engaging in US surrogacy — and how you can steer clear of them.
1. Choosing the Wrong Surrogacy Agency (or Going Without One)
The mistake: Many intended parents assume all agencies are equally experienced, ethical, and attentive — or that they can manage the process independently. In reality, there is vast variability in agency quality. Some agencies are newer and have limited screening protocols or weak surrogate support systems. Others may promise fast matches that ultimately fall through.
The result: Delays, financial loss, poor surrogate matches, or even legal complications.
How to avoid it: Do your homework. Compare multiple agencies. Ask specific questions: How are surrogates screened? What happens if a match fails? Will I have a dedicated case manager? Better yet, work with an independent advisor (like Growing Families) who can connect you to well-vetted agencies that fit your values, timeline, and budget.
2. Underestimating the Total Cost (and Not Planning for Variables)
The mistake: Many hopeful parents base their expectations on base surrogate compensation or an agency’s headline package price. But surrogacy involves many moving parts — legal fees, IVF costs, insurance, pregnancy complications, lost wages, and travel.
The result: Budget overruns, financial stress, or being forced to pause the journey midway.
How to avoid it: Build a comprehensive budget that includes every potential cost — even the “what ifs.” Work with professionals who can break down the full picture. Be wary of packages that seem too good to be true. Transparent financial planning from the start saves future heartbreak.
3. Neglecting Legal Complexities and State-by-State Differences
The mistake: Surrogacy laws in the US are not federal — they differ by state. Some states offer strong protections for intended parents, while others are far more complex or even hostile to certain arrangements, especially for international or LGBTQ+ parents.
The result: Legal challenges in establishing parentage, delays in getting your baby home, or issues with birth certificates.
How to avoid it: Always work with a lawyer who specializes in US surrogacy and understands the legal landscape in the state where your surrogate resides. Legal steps — including contracts and parentage orders — must be handled with precision. Never assume what’s true in one state applies in another.
The US can be a fantastic option for surrogacy — but only if you navigate it with the right knowledge and support. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can protect your emotional wellbeing, your finances, and — most importantly — your path to parenthood.
At Growing Families, we’re here to help you take those first informed steps, connect with trusted professionals, and guide you all the way through. Because starting your family should feel exciting — not overwhelming.
