In the lead up to the Growing Families Annual Information Day, our Director Sam Everingham talks to one incredible local surrogate who carried for dads.
Back in 2010, Jemma was a single mum to a baby she named Cooper. She now juggles two stepchildren and two of her own kids.
By the time I met Jemma at our conference in 2021 she had already given away twelve batches of her eggs to no fewer than ten families. Jemma had travelled over 500 kilometres south from Tannum Sands to share her egg donor experiences. She was preparing for a final egg collection. Since Jemma first started donating eggs as a 23 year old, she has seen her recipients – spread over four states – bear nine children who carry her genetics.
It was at Growing Families Conference that year that the unexpected happened – Jemma met a gay couple there – 35 year olds James and Jimbob. They didn’t’ need a donor. They had already made embryos with the help of James’ sister. But they were in the market for a surrogate. “Maybe I was shamelessly flirting with gay men” Jemma admits, but they clicked.
By the end of the first day, Jemma was bubbling with excitement. She had what she describes as a ‘brain fart.’
“You’re my people. I would really value a friendship with you.” Jemma stayed on for drinks. Back at her hotel she found herself ringing her fiancé. “Will, I think I want to carry for these guys. Would you be OK with that?”
They began ‘surro-dating’ at a distance – relying on Facetime and Messenger. Finally Jemma offered to carry – as long as the boys could wait until after her wedding nine months hence.
The first embryo transfer worked, but there were stressors during the subsequent pregnancy. Without the benefit of a surrogacy agency to support them, and with Jemma so far away, James and Jimbob had to ensure Jemma was looked after.
James is in banking, but now he needed to be travel agent, logistics expert and project manager, as he ensured Jemma was able to get to her hospital appointments and had the right support around her.
James feels lucky. “While the relationship we developed was incredibly strong, not all surrogacy teams become so close”.
Jemma suffered a massive bleed in the first trimester – a false alarm. There were other major dramas during the pregnancy which Jemma and James will share at Growing Families annual Conference, along with other surrogates, gay dads and experts from around the globe.
Left Jemma and new born baby Rupert. Right Jemma with her surrogacy family.
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Surrogacy can be stressful so you need to set realistic expectations, ensuring you work with professional experts from embryo creation, surrogate screening and through to ongoing support. Amongst many speakers, the Event will feature an experienced surrogacy counsellor talking about relationship-building and support on these journeys.
Designed to give you realistic expectations of the process from all parties, the day is a chance for the surrogacy community to come together to support each other on their journeys to parenthood. It will focus particularly on local surrogacy, as well as the US, Canada and emerging options in Argentina. So whether you are part way along, or still considering options, don’t miss this once-yearly opportunity. You can find full information here.
